5 Years?!?! What? That's Crazytown!

Where is this?

Yep, You guessed it. Cannon Beach, on the Oregon Coast. And this is where m'lady and I spent our 5 year anniversary...Yes, 5 years...cinco...4+1, 7-2, however you want to cut it. I remember when we met 9 years ago, so to have already been married 5 years seems totally crazy, but it has been nothing short of amazing. She is my best friend and we have the most amazing time together. Never stop having fun!

Rach had never been to the Oregon Coast, so I thought she was due for a trip down there. We stayed at the Ocean Lodge, which I would totally recommend to anyone. It is right on the beach with amazing views in all directions and just a short walk down the beach to all of the little shops and all 614 art galleries that occupy the town. I could find paintings by a 44 year old British poet who refused to drink anything but milk for 3 years, but when all I wanted was some cheese to pair with our wine it was Tillamook Cheddar, Tillamook Sharp Cheddar, Tillamook Mild Cheddar, Tillamook Smoked Cheddar, or a Tillamook T-shirt...

Anyways, the hotel had fresh baked cookies every night....fresh baked cookies EVERY NIGHT! Ummm...yep! But they also set you up with everything you need for a bonfire (minus the lighter fluid) including the logs, chairs, matches, and the daily paper to get it all started. Perfect place for a relaxing weekend.

'Tis I with a flaming 'mallow. If you don't speak french, that's a marshmallow.

So we basically just hung out, drank some wine, ate some hot cookies (I did at least), walked the beach, and relaxed. It was perfect!

They had black and white chairs, but I said, "Come on, it's our anniversary, can you get us rainbow sorbet?"

We also got massages...A word of warning here friends...If you ask for a massage you may end up on the short end of the stick. We ordered up 2 in-room massages (back-to-back because apparently there is only one masseuse in town) and were pretty stoked. Little did we know we signed up for the Tender Vittles-Fancy Fingers-Feather Touch Massage. How about some pressure next time lady wearing wool socks with sandals? Do you understand how hard it is to focus on a massage when you look down and see big wool socks smothered in rubber sandal/shoes? Not easy! It felt like a light breeze was blowing over me, not like someone was really working out all the kinks...There were moments when all she did was rest her hand on my shoulder. I was just waiting for a poof of smoke and broom to appear! Halloweens not for a month lady! So don't say you weren't warned.

M'lady and I in front of the fireplace (Coming in a Christmas Card near you?)

Food recap of Cannon Beach:

Wayfarer - ehhhhh...OK...nothing special

Newmans 989 - cute little italian place, but overpriced and not a lot on the menu.

Seasons - little spot for lunch that was money right as you enter town

Waves of Grain Bakery - they serve Sleepy Monk coffee here and have One-Eyed Willy's (yeah, like in Goonies), which is a large flaky biscuit with fresh raspberry jam right in the center. Definitely go here if you get a chance.

Rach enjoying the sunset

The Elevator Debate

Do you ever wonder what to do when standing in the elevator with a complete stranger? How awkward is this? Let's say you are the first one in, headed to the 34th floor. Someone else gets in on the 2nd floor, heading to the 36th. You are going to be spending a considerable amount of time with this person.

Do you make small chat? "Weather sure is nice today", "Nice Elevator huh", "Check out those ergonomic buttons"

Do you stare straight at the ceiling while the other person does the same thing?

Do you look at your shoes? Make sure you are wearing some!

Do you look at your phone?

Does the other person look at their phone like they have been in a time warp and cant remember what time it was 14 seconds ago? Also, NO SERVICE! "Can't check the facebook account in here amigo"

Do you look at the buttons? Don't look at the buttons. The ceiling-stare is better than the button-watcher

Staring at your watch? Yep, just as I thought, 3 seconds after the last time I checked.

What if the person smells or has an egg salad sandwich in their bag? Do you plug your nose and make a scene? Maybe chuckle because you think they cut cheese?

Did the elevator stink before you got in and now the person who just stepped on thinks it was you? They think they are walking into your smoke screen?

What if the elevator is packed? Do you talk to everyone? Crack a good joke? No, no, just keep staring at the ceiling.

When you get off, do you say bye if you had some idle chit-chat?

Can you hit on someone in an elevator? I would say yes if you are in a place like Vegas, where rules don't really apply to anything. But if you are in a place of business, don't ruin the girl's day by trying to get her digits. She already had to listen to you yammer on about the dry muffin you just had at Starbucks.

What do you do?

What has been shakin?

Following the Hoopfest Spectacular was the Annual Chelan trip. This year was epic. We rented a huge pad and filled it with 17 of the amigos. My folks had the boat over there so we were able to do some cliff jumping, wake boarding in pirate suits, some dance parties, hit a pinata, played some ladder ball, a few Light Weight Buddy's, some beer grenades, and wore some water diapers! If you don't know what a water diaper is Bing it. Below are some pictures from the events!

BK, Austin, and BigD are fashioning the Water Diaper, excellent in warm climates when an ice cold beverage is needed while floating in the water.

These ladies may look like they are celebrating a victory in Flip Cup. WRONG! Dudes 7, Ladies 0

The ladies huck off the cliff...

The Dance Party begins

Aaaaaarrrgghh... Pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel attached to his dingy and orders a beer. Bartender says "No problem pirate, but first, why do you have a steering wheel attached to your dinger?" Pirates says, "Aaaarrggghh, She's drivin' me nuts"!

That would be the best pirate joke I know. The 3rd pirate to the right also happens to be excellent at wakeboarding, along with plundering booty and drinking Rum.

No explanation for this one, just wanted to get a pic of Lowell's thighs in there. If you see them, run, they will knock you over

Where did I leave off?

M'lady and I at the Gonnason's Casa for Hoopfest

Wow, it has been a minute since I last blogged. My apologies to all of my fans, US Weekly, OK!, the Twitterverse, and of course the paparazzi. I know what you are thinking...Where have you been? Well I don't have 3 months to write everything, like what sandwich I had on September 8th (Probably a smoked turkey and swiss on wheat. That's it. No Mayo. No Mustard. Boom. Down to biz). So here are the highlights, followed by a couple of pics from the big events:

1) Spokane Hoopfest - Largest 3-on-3 basketball tournament in the world, no joke. Close to 30,000 players of all ages. If you ever get a chance, you should play once. It is amazing.

The squad repped tough, going 2-0 the first day which put us in a huge matchup with a group of US Marines. They had 2 guards who were quick as lightning, but smelled like a fresh batch o' Jack Daniels. Sure enough, they had been partying hard all night. The 3rd dude was the problem though. I am talking about a 6'8" 260lb solid rock of a problem in the low post. Our team runs about 6'4 200 across the board, but I probably tip the scales at about 202, so I was lucky enough to guard this moose. By guarding him, I mean absolutely bear hugging this guy. I could have been arrested for my actions, but the dude never called a foul. Ever. Somehow we grab the lead 17-14 (games are to 20) and Pete (aka the Swede, a 6'7 ex PLU Lute) reaches in on the Moose to try to steal the ball from him. Bad idea. Pete pulls the ball one way, Moose pulls the ball the other way. Moose wins and takes Swede's arm with him. Dislocated shoulder. Out for tourney. So BigD, our 4th man comes in off the bench, plays admirably, but we go down in OT and never recovered with out Pete.

Left to Right: CBone, Swede, Blogger, BigD

But...we had a couple of fantastic BBQ's, some ice cold beverages, an awesome round of golf, and we brought the Boo's, who also had a great time. Fellas, you know how it is to have your lady in the crowd. It's a great way to show her you still have it and definitely earn some points. Just ask m'lady.

CBone to the rack

More to come... It's late for an old buzzard like myself, time to hit the sack. Holla!